I had left Nigeria looking like somebody going somewhere to enjoy life. Next thing, Scotland said:

“Enjoyment? Sit down first.” 🥲

Even my shoes complained at a point that this wasn't what we discussed and decided to pinch my existence off! 😭😭

The shoes won the battle and I entered a whole UK  wearing Crocs....Me! A fashion Fanatic 🫪🫪

Because at that point, I had abandoned fashion. Survival had entered the chat 😂

On getting down on the tarmac, cold slammed me hard in the face!

Not gently oh.

It penetrated my skin and went straight to my ancestors. 😭

A whole tush babe like me was now shivering like a skinless chicken! 🤣🤣🤣

Like… what exactly was happening?!

I was TOTALLY unprepared.

Me that prides myself on being a good researcher.

YIMU! 🤦🏾‍♀️😂

I researched everything else but the weather! But then again, why would weather be important? 🤪

I was sha going to land, go to school, move into my house and continue my life.

What's my own business with whether the weather is weathering?

My dearrrr…

The UK said: “I AM the boss here.” 😭😂

So there I was, fighting for my life against the coldest cold I had ever encountered.

What a very unfriendly welcome! 🫥🙄

Strike 1 🎴

But then, as a hot babe, memories must be made. 😂

So I decided to do social media versus reality and entered full posing mode. 😁😁😁

Forget the fact that I had even cut my hair because I was told making hair in the UK costs an arm and a leg. 🤨

That was also very bad advice, by the way. 😂

But that's gist for another day!

Anyway, I had barely landed and was already expecting a warm welcome committee.
Imagine my shock when Oyinbo no even look at me twice!

There I was dragging four hefty boxes, plus one Ghana Must Go that was probably carrying my entire Nigerian existence...

And I was expecting:

“Can I help youuuuu?”

Nothing.

Zero.

Nada.

Nobody!

I carried my bags myself. 😭

Only me.

I was shocked!

Because why so unfriendly when I had all my 32 out?! 🙄😂

Strike 2 🎴


Then came the matter of my phone.

I needed to get to the house, obviously, but the airport Wi-Fi?

Na just small browsing them dey allow.

That Wi-Fi was stingy! 😭 Nobody warned me that I should have bought a UK SIM card from Nigeria.

Tell me why I entered a shop at the airport and paid £21 for a simple SIM card!

£21!!!!

Only for me to later hear that you could get it for £1 in some shops!

2. They all have the element of surprise deeply rooted in them.

One rainy Thursday when you should be sipping tea, your maths teacher will just enter and ask you to tear sheet of paper

3. They can make anybody run mad.

Because what is that?

4. They are all evil spirits in disguise because what will make a teacher enter an exam hall where you're sweating and start to laugh. What? If not evil spirit.

5. They like to talk.

Because there is always something to say before they share scripts in this life

5. Patience. The patience to mark scripts.

The amount of rubbish I wrote in every maths exam can give someone permanent madness.

6. Punctuality and Stellar Health.

My maths teacher was never sick. Even during Ebola crisis, this man did not catch anything.

7. Embarrassing students is their hobby. You, before maths period Vs. You, after your maths teacher finishes abusing your Olodo ass

8. Experts at confusing people. This minute Sade has 15 oranges and the next minute we have to calculate the sex of Sade's baby.

9. Heart attack givers. According to them, if you don't understand Sine and Cosine, you can't make it in life

But that's not your own business because you want to be a Dj in future. 😛😛😛😛😛😃😃😃



Article originally posted by Kraskstv.com